I'm in America right?

We its been about 4 or 5 months since I last posted something and I find myself becoming grumpier by the day. So I'd figure I'll waste some time while I'm in class and write about my teacher that I have been dealing with for an entire semester.

So I'm in a computer class teaching students things that good educational systems taught us years ago.. How to use Word, Excel and Access. My teacher's name is quite hard to prenounce but I'll sum it up by saying it goes something like this - Hasaan...

This guys english is as good as a chinese two year olds and he has no idea how to conduct a class here in America. He has failed miserably at communicating to students in a manner which we can interpret. I do not understand how colleges can hire professors that lack the most important communcation tool here in America - that being our language English. How can this teacher and college expect students to intpret his mispronounciations while keeping up with a class workload.

Although my effort in this class has been lackluster at most (no need to put forth effort if your professor barely even knows what he's talking about), I believe this man has failed miserably at attaining his American Dream. I may just be acting the grumpy old man that I am or I may just be so ignorant to the fact that this man is actually content with his life but I just cant see how a person who was born out of the country speaking another language can come to America and teach students about computers with a very weak understanding of our language.

I didnt join this class to learn a language.. I joined to somehow make progress in programming that is used very frequently in the business world. Screw this guy and his smart-ass smirk. Colleges need to realize that hiring someone new for less money may come back to bite them in the ass when you have professor-turnover rate which is comparable to Jenna Jameson's... i think you get the idea..

I hope to be on this more often although I dont even think anyone reads it but I'll have better topics and I will be much more organized. Thanks for reading..

Until next time...

LeBron & Manny

It has been confirmed that LeBron James was dunked on by Xavier's Jordan Crawford. Apparently we will never see this though because after it happened LeBron told some Nike people to get the videos from the photographers and get rid of them. The issue here is image. Lebron understands that he has a huge following and that already beautiful image cannot be tarnished by some video at his skills camp.

Well one thing is for sure, I would have loved to see this. I certainly disagree with his decision to tell Nike people to get the tapes from the people there and make sure they do not make it to the internet. If anything, he should have endorsed it. Not that he needs more exposure, but this would have increased engagement to his brand and made people talk more. He didn't hit anyone with a car or dangle his child over a hotel overhang, he simply got dunked on. His brand would not have been tarnished if the videos were posted, in fact it would have been great exposure. It kinda makes him more human-like. He would have been on the radio, an interview on Sportscenter, and a ton of views on YouTube, all directed at the Lebron James Brand.

Now, he is left looking almost foolish because he needed to tell "his people" to rid of the evidence. This now makes his brand look weak, like he can never do anything wrong. Great story, questionable advice. Where were "his people" when he walked off the court and failed to address the media when the Cavs lost to the Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals? Obviously they still have some things to learn.

If I happened to be in a basement for my entire life and had no idea who Manny Ramirez is, I would certainly think he was a God and saved the country of Darfur from all the genocide. The media is promoting his use of banned substance and 50-game suspension. It's a joke. He's a great personality and probably an even better hitter but this is so sad. In his first game back, whatever channel was televising a game and would cut to Manny's at-bats. Are you kidding me? Yeah, let's tell those 11 year-olds watching that its ok to juice it or put something in your body that is illegal or frowned upon. We are now comparing Manny's return to Cal Jr's consecutive games played record for example, along with many other great accomplishments in sports. Barry Bonds was HATED because he was accused of juicing. No one liked him and now he will always be remembered by the asterix instead of when he played baseball. Manny was actually caught and suspended, yet he's back playing. This is what the world of media has come to. If you have a personality, no matter what you do, you'll be ok.

Until next time...

Planet Fitness & Endzone Burial Celebration

Last night I lifted a weight for the first time in about 8 months. Not that I need to work on my already Hercules figure or anything, but I figured I could use the exercise. So the other day I walked into a Planet Fitness near my house and signed up for $20 a month with benefits that include half off drinks, free use of massage chairs, ability to use my membership at all other Planet Fitness locations and my favorite, free tanning... ha. 

Well last night I walked into the gym around 9pm. I walked around a bit to see where everything was. A ton a treadmills, TVs, dumbbells but very little free weights. There were no bench presses other than the ones that help guide your movement up and down. Those machines are for yea well take a guess. Anyways, I wore some Nike sneakers, a pair of dress socks because I was too lazy to take them off after work, and a long sleeve Nike dri-fit. That's what I wore and here is what I forgot:

- Red Bandana

- Wife-Beater/Tank Top

- Diamond Earrings

- Gold Chain

- Du-Rag

- A Group of 5-7 Friends

- One Leg Rolled Up Sweatpants

- Backwards Fitted

- Hair Pick

- Inflatable Chest Pump

Oh and my Spanish Flag...

If you haven't already guessed or assumed, I was surrounded by, I'll just say non-whites. Not that I am racist one single bit, but I was the only white person in the entire gym. All two floors of this place, I was the only one. These people showed up in packs. 7 guys cycling through one pull-down machine all doin' their spanish chitter-chatter. It was almost awkward. I got the stares and the looks and the "Why don't he go back to Westchester" glares. I made it a short workout. My muscles haven't been strained like that in a very long time. It felt good and can't wait to get back in there. I will definitely reconsider the times I work out now. Kinda seemed like I had a huge "Hey I don't belong here" target on my back and forehead.

Today I read an article about a guy in the Canadian Football League who attempted a "Michael Jackson Tribute Celebration". This is what happened, guy catches touchdown pass, takes off his helmet, jersey, shoulder pads, sets them on ground then proceeds to lie on the ground, arms folded across his body. He was flagged for two sportsmanship penalties or whatever people call them these days and will most likely be fined. In my opinion I would have kicked him out of the game for stupidity. After the game this player said he was pretending to be "buried" to honor the death of Michael Jackson. HA... What a god damn clown.

Michael is probably all "ohhh what a sweet sweet child" or some other crazy thought but come on. This was no tribute to Michael. This was a display of "Hello everyone, I cannot dance so I'll pretend like I'm dead. Thanks Michael, your the best!" If your gonna do an endzone celebration as a tribute to MJ, then do the moonwalk or one of his crazy arm and leg flings then grab your crouch. Don't pretend to be buried you imbecile.

Until next time...

WNBA - "Wannabe National Basketball Association"

Last night as I channel surfed in between innings during the Yankees game I found myself continually turning back to ESPN2 where a WNBA game was on. Not that I enjoy watching any female sports (sorry) with the exception of good looking females participating in sports i.e. my girlfriend kicking ass in lacrosse, Natalie Gulbis strut her stuff on the LPGA Tour, Biba Golic tear up the table tennis circuit, or that smokin' hot softball pitcher from Arizona a few years back (her name has left me at the moment), I just can't seem to muster the strength to understand how the WNBA can consider themselves professionals. I know they represent the best female basketball players I think in the world but it's simply not interesting.

The arenas are less than half full, they have a league represented by 13 teams, one team was cut which won the first 4 WNBA titles, horrible TV contracts, dismal advertising, and a brother (NBA) who is the only reason why they are still afloat. It's beyond me that the only true reason why David Stern has not cut ties with them is because female advocates would put a stake through his heart. In a day and age where adjustments must always be made with marketing campaigns and rebranding ideas, the WNBA is on a path to further make a mockery of themselves. There is no feasible way this league can stay afloat without the help of the NBA. It will take a female athlete the size of Shaq, the skills of Kobe, and the man-child physique of LeBron to actually gain more interest other than the 9-year-old girl and her father attending a game for something to do. To be honest, get rid of the league, I have more interest in women's college basketball where the coaches are better; more animated, and are always vying for a championship that actually means something to a school and a community.

Now onto the game I was watching. The Atlanta Dream lost to the Minnesota Lynx 91-85 during a drawn out 4^th quarter in a game that should have ended after the 3^rd quarter. Not that I watched the entire 4^th quarter but it’s not hard to guess what happened. In the last minute it was a close game with both team turning the ball over and scoring (much like a 7^th grade CYO game). With about 30 seconds left, the “Dream” applied a trap after half-court, got a steal, and converted the layup and were now down 6. Now about 20 seconds remaining and plenty of time to put it in the hands of the other team making free throws and then converting on the following possessions, what happened next was down right hysterical and sad. The “Dream” gave up. They didn’t foul, didn’t attempt to try to make a steal, 3 players didn’t even make it past half court. With 20 seconds left, coming off a steal, a converted layup, some momentum and a 6 point deficit, they stopped. The coaches shook hands or whatever the hell they do and they walked off the court.

With this kind of play, how can the WNBA expect ANYONE to watch this atrocious “professional” sport they call the Women’s National Basketball Association?

 

Until next time…

Home is where the heart is...

It's been awhile since I have posted anything and its been quite difficult to conjure anything up until now. USA lost to Brazil, but I'm not a big soccer fan although I would have been a little bit more interested if they had won. They forgot they had to play 90 minutes instead of 45. Just another damper on soccer here in the states. The Yanks produced a nice sweep of the Metropolitans. Jackass Ponzi Madoff received 150 years for his truly profound scheme. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Billy Mays died. The Black Boxes from the plane off the coast of Brazil are still missing. Wimbledon is under way and Pete Sampras' grand slam record is still in jeopardy. I already forgot who won the US Open because it wasn't Phil or Tiger. And finally Steven Jobs is back to work at Apple Inc. after liver transplant. Yet, none of these were worthy enough of a posting.

Today I went on my hometown newspaper's website for the first time in probably a month and read some interesting articles. The first was titled "Man jumps from bridge in Corning" and the next was "Biker dies in chase on Route 415". Both interesting articles and almost comical to some extent.

So a little rundown: A 20 year old male jumped off Bridge Street Bridge early Saturday evening attempting to kill himself. He failed, failed so bad he failed to manage even a chipped nail. We can all say my goodness help this boy or he must of had a bad family life or his girlfriend broke up with him. Ya know all that excuse stuff. Well what I don't understand is that this is the same idiot who tried doing the same thing a little over a month ago. In fact, I was at a bar down the street when they closed down the bridge for this kid's theatrics. I'm sorry but this kid just wants attention. Simple as that, he's in dire need of attention. Now he has made it to the newspaper twice and on the news. He has had people console him, evaluate him, and ask him if he's ok. This is what happens in Corning, NY. Please Mr. 20 year old don't make it so obvious your in dire need of attention. In your first attempt you didn't even get off the bridge and in your second attempt you did it with the sun still out. If you want attention my friend, run down Market St. naked when the races are going on at the Glen. Or wait until the East/West football game so you have a bunch of adolescent eyeballs on you yearning for some laughter and gossip.

The next story made me laugh but someone died so it was short-lived. A man was caught peeling out on his crotch rocket and led a few cars on chase with speeds over 100mph. The guy ended up losing control and was pronounced dead at the scene. Something I've never understood: why do people from the Southern Tier insist upon thinking their actually cool? Not that I am one to brag and label myself as "cool", but this is just another example of an area depleted by individuals that think the world evolves around them and the Southern Tier. It is certainly unfortunate that someone had to pass away, but a little intelligence would have told this guy to save his tire spinning escapade for his driveway or a back round where the opportunity to get caught is minimal or just not done anything. Just some brains and this guy is still alive.

One last thing: Although the culprit will most likely never be found, whomever decided to spill a half gallon jug of olive oil all over my kitchen floor at our party on Friday night, I hope you have the worst paper cut of your life, slip on a banana peel and fall face first into a pile of shit.

Until next time...

Stallworth vs Vick

Ok, so I couldn't keep this out of my head after I finished my last post. Stallworth killed a man, and Vick ran a dog fighting ring. Stallworth was drunk while Vick probably smoked an occasional joint. Stallworth will play football again soon; Vick still has a long road ahead of him. Stallworth will serve 30 days in jail. Vick spent nearly 2 years in jail (home confinement at the moment). 

I could go on forever, but my point is made. How can we honestly say that Vick committed more wrong doing than that of Stallworth. Its a human vs dozens of dogs but still. Vick has exhausted every last bit of his contact with the Falcons and Stallworth spent alot but got his life in return. He will still sit in financial security while Vick works a 9-5 making less than I do right now. 

This is what our judicial system has come to. Such horrible discrepancies and unfair rulings that have put, not just superstars, but the average joe either back in the real world or behind bars. Now the NFL will implement a suspension and fine against Stallworth but it will be nothing compared to scrutiny that followed, and will continue to, Michael Vick. By no means do I condone any of Vick's actions, but this is an obvious problem.

Killing humans vs. torturing dogs... Where do you stand?

Until next time...

Kobe & Stallworth

This is something that has been bothering me since Kobe and the Lakers won their 15th title on Sunday. I don't know if I am the only one that feels this way but didn't that celebration seem as fake as Pamela Anderson's boobs? There were smiles, hugs, hand shakes, and three ridiculous jumps of joy by Kobe. But there was no passion. There was no passion that you saw when Phil, Mike, and Scottie won in each of their 6 titles. 

Honestly, Kobe's celebration was as fake as fake could be. It seemed as if he was trying to create a moment that could be eternalized into the minds of everyone who saw it. Well I guess he did a good job because I'll always remember it, but I'll remember the moment when he looked like a desperate fool, not the moment when he won his 4th championship and first without Shaq. I may just be a hard critic, and maybe we have all just been spoiled with greatness, but I truly believe Kobe will go down as an NBA great, but certainly not the best. Mike still has the nod, and Lebron is on his way, if not surpassing Kobe as we speak. There are many other greats who I would put in front of Kobe. They deserved to win though and it was certainly hard to watch the Magic not take advantage of the multiple opportunities to extend the series.

 I hope Stan Van Gundy has the chance to make it back to the Finals because he is an amazing coach. A coach that is a student and teacher of the game, always looking for an edge, an edge that will always give his teams a chance to win. If every coach throughout the ranks was more like Stan (and his brother Jeff) we wouldn't see the abundance of embarrassing coaching performances and the content which follows it. It's more than chucking up 3's or a fast break dunk; It's about the fundamentals. The fundamentals that used to be there when the Celtics had Bird, when the Bulls had Jordan, and when the Jazz had Pistol. When State had Magic and Knight was at Indiana or Ewing at Georgetown. Thats what good basketball is all about. Basketball as a whole has become soft, we need those hard nosed, making you run till you puke, coaches and the player who can accept it.

Donte Stallworth must be God's right hand man because it took an act of God to escape his early morning drive-over within our merciless drinking and driving laws. It makes no sense to me what so ever. He killed a man, driving a car, while probably dreaming of his bed with a .12 BAC. He is now serving 30 days in jail, 1,000 hours community service, and an undisclosed amount with the out-of-court settlement. 

I feel horrible for the victim. His family was content with receiving, and I'm going out on a limb, a very, very, very, very hefty amount of money. So in reality this guy's family could put quantitative value to his existence and in turn be "gifted" with loads of money at the expense of their deceased family member. Stallworth lucked out and will most likely play again. Good for him, hopefully it's a lesson learned.

Until next time...